The Feet of God

120 - FOLLOW YOUR HEART Tragedy struck Punta Gordita again.   Boo the black bar cat died.   I knew something bad had happened the moment I entered The Rusty Trumpet to swamp.   The jukebox was playin’ The Bee-Gees.   I noticed a motionless pile of black fur on top of the jukebox.   I knew in a sec Boo had graduated to his 10 th life and crossed the rainbow bridge.   I immediately thought of Sandi Dollar, and how distraught she’d be to hafta cremate yet another one. Anyhow, I wrapped the dead cat in a bar towel and dropped the feline carcass in a brown paper bag.   I decided to leave it for Jar-Boy to properly dispose of.   I didn’t think it was my job as a swamper to decide what to do with the body.   After all, maybe they wanted to hold some kinda services to show proper respects for Boo?   Who knows?   I decided to duck the issue entirely, and persevere with the swamping responsibilities more connected to my job description. ...

121 - I JUST DID IT I guess it was nothin ’ but an act of faith I threw my lot in with Crespo Laërtes.   It was on impulse, that’s for sure.   I mean, he didn’t know where Baby Harmonica was any more’n I did, but we both had a firm belief we was destined to find Baby.   Or maybe it was all a wild goose chase and a mirage?   Who the fuck knows? “I ship out tomorrow at sunup,” Crespo leaned forward.   “Get your things.   You can spend the night sleeping on the boat.” “This is sorta fast,” I sipped my Manhattan.   “You mean, I gotta quit working for Sandi Dollar right this minute?” “It would seem so,” Crespo replied. It was hard to suddenly give up my lifestyle here at The Rusty Trumpet.   I mean, the bar had been my home since I arrived in Punta Gordita.   And I loved my job.   The perks was great.   It was easy living in paradise.   But something called on me to drop everything and follow him.   I agreed to Cresp...

122 - THE MAN BEHIND RED EYES “Aweigh your anchor, matey.”   Crespo pulled back the canvas cover over the dinghy.   “Time to rise and shine.” I could’a used a little more shuteye, but I knew that wasn’t gonna happen. Tarp removed, I slowly emerged from the tiny lifeboat to confront a brand new day.   A new day with a lot of unknowns.   At least the sky was cheerful red in the morning light. Crespo handed me a sausage McMuffin and a hash brown patty and a cup of coffee.   “Sorry if the coffee’s a little cold,” he apologized. “I appreciate you gettin’ food on my behalf,” I smiled.   I sure wish he’d gotten a hot apple pie to go with the order, but I know, I know, beggars can’t be choosers. I scarfed down the hash browns even before I was completely upright and properly arranged.   Once I knew I was as presentable as I’d ever be, I followed Crespo into the captain’s cabin or the bridge or wheelhouse or whatever the nautical term is, chomping d...

123 - BEWITCHED We passed Key Largesse and headed for open waters.   For a clunky ol’ rust bucket, The Tempest made pretty good headway to our unknown destination.   The breeze was cool.   The sky still pulsed a bright red color that I noticed was gradually darkening. “How come you think my sister is somewhere around here?” I asked Crespo. “Just a hunch.” “Just a hunch?   Is that all?” Crespo stroked his white beard.   “I consulted an old Seminole who was known for certain witching ways....” “You mean a witchdoctor?” “Something like that.   He informed me she could be found in this vicinity.” “Anything more specific than that?   Like an email or forwarding mail address, or anything?” “No.” My confidence levels just sunk. “And you?” he asked me.   “How come you think your sister is here?” Truth is, my answer wasn’t any stronger than his.   “Oh, just a feeling I had,” I said.   I didn’t get specific telling him abou...

124 - HEAVEN SENT I asked Crespo where he met my sister. “I met Fiona at a small club outside Tampa.” “Baby,” I corrected.   “My sister’s name is Baby.” “Of course, Baby.   I found out Baby danced there for a living.   But I had something better to offer her.” “What?” “Me.” I braced myself for whatever came up next. “We fell in love over rum drinks at The Palmetto Club.” “Well, she has a way of playing on the ol’ heartstrings,” I added, “that’s for sure.” “Baby was irresistible.   I followed my urges and I escorted her to The Tempest .   We spent a night in each other’s company, a night of passion.”   He eyed me, “But as you’re her brother, I won’t divulge such intimate details.” “I’m appreciative.” Crespo closed his eyes.   He didn’t say another word for a long time, and I wasn’t gonna interrupt him.   Finally, he spoke up again.   “She was gone in the morning.” “Gone?   Just like that?” “Yes, unfortunately, ...

125 - THE BIG PICTURE Crespo reached under and pulled up a bottle of rum.   “How about an eye-opener?” “Aaarrrggghhh,” I tried to sound like a pleased pirate. Crespo laughed at my attempt to talk piratical.   He took down two glass tumblers and filled them with ice from a freezer compartment.   “Orange juice?” he asked. “Screwdriver juice, definitely,” I nodded. He poured our drinks then toasted, “To Baby Harmonica!” “To Baby Harmonica!” I repeated, as our two glasses clinked together. “Tell me, mate,” Crespo asked, “what do you do to try and achieve happiness?” “Happiness?”   I scratched my chin.   “Ya know, that’s kinda a hard question.” “And why is that?” “Well, only because happiness and sadness come and go of their own accord.   I mean, if ya find money on the sidewalk, you’re gonna be happy about it.   If your dog dies, you’re gonna be sad.” “So you’re saying one shouldn’t try to be happy?” Crespo squinted. “Not exactly. ...

126 - AND YOUR POINT IS? I sipped my screwdriver and lit a smoke.   It was one of the last, sadly, as I noticed my pack of Marlboros was half empty, or less than half full. Crespo rambled on and on, on any number of subjects, and he professed a range of expertise in all of ‘em.   None of this held much interest for me.   He concluded the most recent conversational thread by saying, “After all, tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.” “No truer words.” “In other words….” I always hated hearing them words.   All it meant was they was just get’n started all over again, reloading the same old bullshit.   I stifled a yawn, and felt a headache comin’ on. “If I found myself somehow alive after death,” Crespo reasoned, “it couldn’t surprise me any more than finding myself alive right now.”   His red eyes glowered.   “It all seems so improbable, doesn’t it?   Why is there anything at all?   It would be so much simpler if there was absolutely no...

127 - NOT BUYING IT “Why was there a Big Bang at all?” Crespo asked, seemingly in a world by himself.   “Shouldn’t the original singularity have been the Mother of All Black Holes?” “Could be.” “Or maybe it was something different?   A White Hole?   The amalgamation of all the black holes in the universe, with an opposite and equal reaction?   Hence, a ripping outwards instead of incredible contraction?   A cosmic irruption.   A reboot of time itself?” “Sounds plausible.” Crespo snapped his fingers.   “Who knows?   And why the hell should we care?   As if we count for anything.” “That’s the truth.” “I prefer to find my own solace on the sea.   One port or another, any port in the storm.   Faraway places teeming with opportunities, always following fortune on the way.” “I guess a feller like you has seen some sights, huh?” “From Tanzania to Partridge Square.” “Is that a fact?” “I have sailed the seven seas to th...

128 - JIVE TALK’N Ever notice how often when people are talk ’ n in a conversation, they may stop to hear what you hafta say, but they’re never really listening?   It’s like they’re just pausing before picking up their serial monologue.   I could hear Crespo drone on, “…if everything goes according to plan, but it usually doesn’t...” “Always be prepared, that’s my motto,” I replied. “…his head was so far up his ass he could eat the same burrito twice...” “Now isn’t that somethin’?” “…like trying to psychoanalyze a chimpanzee...” “Someone’s gotta do it.” “…even dog shit is stardust...” “Purple is my favorite color.” “…and the seat of hell is Pandemonium…” “I see London, I see France.” “…and when the wolf is the shepherd, the flock is nothing but dead meat…” “The rooster came before the chicken or the egg.” “…it was another black swan moment…” “Either way, it’s a double-edged sword.” “…yet you can fool some of the people all of the time...” “Suzy Cr...

129 - IT WAS BEAUTY THAT KILLED THE BEAST The rocking of the boat woke me from my nap.   The sea had gotten choppy.   The red sky was now looking black.   You couldn’t tell if we was head’n toward the dark clouds, or if them clouds was coming direct after us.   Maybe it was a little of both. In my stupor I’d found my way back to The Gypsy Soul on autopilot.   Awake now, I crawled out and rejoined Crespo in the main cabin.   He was reciting poetry and singing sea chanteys.   He didn’t seem fazed at all by the ominous change in weather.   Crespo continued to blabber away while he navigated The Tempest through rough waters.   He seemed to be in good spirits no matter how much the sea pitched and tossed us about.   It gave me a little confidence to know he seemed so confident doing what he was doing.   Even a madman can be competent, I hoped. “What time is it?” I poured myself a drink. “Aye, eight-and-half bells,” Crespo laughe...

130 - IT GOT BAD The Tempest was completely gone, and I was afloat at sea on a little dinghy.   Big waves rocked The Gypsy Soul again and again as storm clouds collected.   Things wasn’t looking too good at the moment. Sprays of water soaked me.   In my rush to free the little lifeboat I tossed aside the tarp, not anticipating it could provide a protective cover under such conditions.   Unfortunately, there was no outboard motor or paddle, so I was completely adrift.   At least there was the life-preserver still on board.   But I doubted it would be any help.   With all them sharks prowling around the area it would just make me a float’n snack. I sure wish I hadn’t gotten drunk drinking a bottle of rum.   I threw up over the side of the boat.   I prayed it wouldn’t attract sharks like so much chum.   The waves beat and battered The Gypsy Soul so bad that I got seasick on top of being drunk.   I blew chunks a couple’a more tim...

131 - BABY, IT’S YOU! Things took a turn for the worse. Rain poured in buckets.   There was squalls and waterspouts and winds blow’n every which way.   Lord knows, I can’t recall nothing the likes of this in Bakersfield. Uh-oh.   A wave crested over The Gypsy Soul and we got swamped.   My dinghy lifeboat capsized.   I was dumped into the sea, and waves slapped me around.   I didn’t take this beating personally, since the storm was a force of nature.   But it didn’t seem fair to me I had no evenhanded chance of escape.   I tried holding on, but I knew my life was circle’n the crapper.  This was the beginning of the end with no damn participation awards.  You never think it’s gonna be you. Then there was lights.   Lights.   Magical, dancing lights.   Closer and closer, I was drawn into a tunnel of dazzling, kaleidoscopical lights.   And a strange hum or vibration swept over me.   Can’t say what happened af...