The Feet of God

131 - BABY, IT’S YOU!

Things took a turn for the worse.

Rain poured in buckets.  There was squalls and waterspouts and winds blow’n every which way.  Lord knows, I can’t recall nothing the likes of this in Bakersfield.

Uh-oh.  A wave crested over The Gypsy Soul and we got swamped.  My dinghy lifeboat capsized.  I was dumped into the sea, and waves slapped me around.  I didn’t take this beating personally, since the storm was a force of nature.  But it didn’t seem fair to me I had no evenhanded chance of escape.  I tried holding on, but I knew my life was circle’n the crapper.  This was the beginning of the end with no damn participation awards.  You never think it’s gonna be you.

Then there was lights.  Lights.  Magical, dancing lights.  Closer and closer, I was drawn into a tunnel of dazzling, kaleidoscopical lights.  And a strange hum or vibration swept over me.  Can’t say what happened after that.

My conscious awareness returned like velvet curtains parting at The Fancy Pants Arcade, little by little revealing a world to me….

I was alive.  I spit out a mouthful of sand.  I found myself on an unknown beach.  I wasn’t sure how I landed here after being cast afloat in an angry sea, but questions could wait.  First things first.  I shook off seaweed and sand and staggered uphill toward what looked like a service or access road.  Maybe someone would eventually drive by and help me.  It was my best hope.

I looked around and the storm had blown over, but the winds stayed strong.  It was a day like any other day in paradise, hot, with sticky humid air.  I figured this beach was located somewhere in the Florida Keys, but I couldn’t really say for sure.  I only knew I was here, and not anywhere else.  And I felt fuckin’ lucky to be alive.

Maybe I should’a paid more attention to where I was going instead of pondering so much on my predicament.  I lost my footing, and slid fast down a sandy incline.  My fall culminated with my back cracking against a palm tree.  The pain was intense.  Then a bunch’a coconuts rained down on me.  Several fell by my side with thuds.  One hit me on the kneecap, which hurt like hell.  But I should’a seen what was comin’ next.  Yep.  A coconut detonated right on the top of my head.

Don’t know if I was knocked out or what, but I was woozy when I managed to get back to my feet.  My backside would be killing me for days.  My head throbbed and ached, and I might’a suffered a concussion.  Thank God my hangover softened the pain.

Not only did I not know where I was, I had no recollection of how I arrived here before the storm.  Worse, I couldn’t remember my own name—although I could recall some people in the past and certain events in my life.  Is this what they call selective amnesia?  Dunno.  I figured the cobwebs would clear in due time and I’d recover any lost fragments of my memory.

I staggered up the hill with all the guts and determination I could muster.  The bushes and tall grasses grew thick alongside the road above the beach.  Pretty flowers and colorful birds was all around me, and a flying circus of butterflies flitted about.  Then I saw it.  Or rather, I recognized him despite my temporary confusion.  It was Little Billy.  He was standing on the other side of the road, buck naked.  His slate gray eyes stared straight into me.

“Billy…?”

He didn’t return a word.  He broke his gaze and turned his head sharply to his left.  Then he raised an arm and pointed.

I followed his point.  I could not believe it.  There stood Baby Harmonica herself!  I about soiled my pants.  Here she was.  Could you believe it?  My little sister was standin’ right in front of my eyes, just across the road from me.  Baby was dressed in a white halter top, with white short-shorts and blood red heels.  It was a little strange, though.  She stood there unemotional, with unrevealing eyes, opaque and blank, like a marble statue.  But there was no doubt in my mind.  It was Baby!

I should’a been more careful and looked both ways, ‘cause I didn’t see it coming.  A beach patrol Jeep was speeding down the road.  Our paths crossed at a tragic juncture.  I was thrown about 30 feet from the initial point of impact.  I already hurt so bad there wasn’t much room for more pain.

I ended up a crumpled pile in some flowers and bushes by the side of the road.  I can attest to this ‘cause I was watching from a perspective above the whole scene.  It was the weirdest thing, viewing all the commotion from a distance.  I could see the lifeguards get out of their Jeep and administer CPR and other life-saving procedures on me.  I felt kind of detached from it all, but I knew I was still connected to that broken body lay’n there.

Until…until…I’m not sure…there was a moving roar….

Wait!  Wait!  My life can’t flash before my eyes…I don’t know who I am!  Who am I?

As everything went dark, I heard laughter and applause.

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