The Feet of God

75 - LOVING THY NEIGHBOR Jimmy-Bob vigorously scrubbed me with the kerosene mop while Slim poured beer down the hatch.   This time the treatment had a strange effect of cooling my skin off instead of making me hot.   Meanwhile, I strained at my bindings so’s not to miss a drop of the golden brew. Jimmy-Bob spoke as he wiped, “You said you was headed to Florida, is that correct?   I think we might’a secured you some transportation.” “Why, thank-y Jimmy-Bob.”   This was an unexpected piece of good news.   “That’s real thoughtful of you to be thinking of me like that.” Jimmy-Bob turned and popped another cold one.   “It ain’t exactly a free ride.” Lord forgive me, I coughed out a mouthful of free beer.   “What do you mean it ain’t exactly free?” As Jimmy-Bob put away the raggedy washing stick Slim cut in, “The Cirque De Bizarro comes through these parts every year.   It’s what ya might call a roadshow with a bunch’a tattooed pierced hippi...

76 - I WAS AMONG FRIENDS My past stood nearer than I cared to admit, while my future was an uncertain fate.   I took some comfort in my new soft clean clothes, even as they chaffed against the itchy scabby form I barely recognized as me.   But the show must go on, as someone said.   In my case, it’d be go’n on with the Cirque De Bizarro. “We’d better get a move on,” Jimmy-Bob said.   “They’re pullin’ up stakes after tonight.”   As we walked outside he hollered out in anger, “Pulito!”   He turned to me.   “Damnation, I ain’t never seen an old dog like that so un-weaned.” On the far side of the shed, in a pile of gas-stained rags, laid a skinny female hound with a nestled pack of nursing puppies.   And smack in the middle of all the action was that flea-bitten Pulito. “He’s been suckin’ at that teat longer’n any natural animal ought,” Jimmy-Bob huffed.   He walked over and landed a firm kick to Pulito’s backside to send him off yelping....

77 - FOR MY NEXT ACT We drove on through the country until we reached a town with generic strips of mini-malls and fast-food chains.   Slowly we turned onto a super-sized parking lot under a giant Pump & Dump sign, signaling our arrival at the gas station/quickie mart, and then we pulled out near a separate lot with a recycling center full of dumpsters packed with plastic, aluminum cans, glass bottles and shit.   Then my attention was drawn to three parked vehicles, two white semis flanking a small white van.   They was all lined up so’s you could easily read the one word painted on the side of each vehicle... CIRQUE DE BIZARRO I had arrived. Jimmy-Bob pulled next to the little white DE van.   A tall, thin guy with long black hair approached. “JB!” he greeted Jimmy-Bob, making big circles in the air with his raised hands.   “Stupendous to see you again.   Have you brought me your poor patient?”   This dude stuck his head into Jimmy-B...

78 - IS THAT REALLY ME? Pulito’s hind legs scratched at the synthetic grass on the concrete strip as he completed his doggy business.   I realized I needed to pinch a gorilla’s finger, too.   And I was also feeling the pangs of hunger.   Such is the circle of life. I returned to Jimmy-Bob’s truck and dumped the dog back on the passenger’s side seat, slammed the door shut, and I waited outside.   Just then I caught a glimpse of that sad-eyed kid again, but he ran right away.   I rubbed my eyes, not sure how he could vanish so fast.   Then I noticed Jimmy-Bob and The Amazing Stumppo had wrapped up their meeting and was headed my way. Jimmy-Bob didn’t stop to chitchat once he got to his truck.   He simply hopped into the cab and started it up, telling me, “You be sure and drop by anytime you find yourself out our way.” “Thanks, Jimmy-Bob,” I gave him a thumbs-up.   “Say, can I ask you a question?” “Sure,” Jimmy-Bob revved the engine.  ...

79 - THEY’RE GONNA LOVE YOU Mr. Harry stood behind me admiring my image in the mirror.   As he peeked over my shoulder he assured me, “You’re gonna be a star.”   He handed me the purple sequined loincloth to put on.   I wasn’t so sure.   “I don’t know if I can go out in public and be seen like this,” I said, noticing in the mirror how the loincloth sparkled and glittered just like the back end of one of them water delivery trucks. “Perish the thought.”   Mr. Harry reassured me again, “They’re gonna love you.” I dabbed at my gooey eyes with a wet washcloth, while I continued to stare hypnotized by the reflected horror. “Just drop that in the tub,” Mr. Harry waved a latex-covered hand to indicate he meant the dirty washrag.   He immediately spritzed it with 409. “When do we get to eat?” I asked, stomach growling. “First seating is coming up in about 15 minutes.”   Mr. Harry looked around and grabbed a folded sheet.   He handed it to me. ...

80 - IT GETS COMPLICATED Damn.   I’m itching like crazy all over.   I begun to scratch my belly when Mr. Harry swatted my hand.   “Don’t do that.   You’ll make your colors run.” “But it itches so bad,” I complained. “Oh look,” Mr. Harry quickly changed the subject.   “Here come the Kennedy Sisters.”   He gave me an elbow nudge and a sly wink. Damn, damn, damn.   I wanted to meet these two beautiful girls and make a good impression.   But I wasn’t sure what they’d think, seeing me near naked like this, and made up like a gross reptile with a loose sheet tied round its neck.   The only thing I could think of was to stare at my feet, and try to be invisible. “Hello, ladies!”   Stumppo shouted out in his loud voice. “Stumppyyyy,” a siren female voice answered back. “Do you have to be so common?” another female voice sounded disapproving. “Don’t try and tell me how to be, Cathy,” the first voice protested. “Just watch it, Pa...

81 - DINNER IS SERVED Mr. Harry and I entered the mess tent.   An indistinct, warm moist smell filled my nostrils, and triggered another cramp of hunger in my gut.   As I stood there, scantily clad and mostly covered in paint, full of sores, I danced from foot to foot moving up the food Conga line.   I got me a tray, a fistful of paper napkins, and a plate and a spoon.   The spoon was just what I needed to scratch at my itching back where I couldn’t reach. From my place in line I couldn’t quite see what dinner was made of.   When my turn came I held out my plate and a pile of noodles and peas and squash and onions and colors of red and white and yellow and green was slopped in front of me.   I was so hungry I was pretty sure I could keep this down.   Then I noticed Mr. Harry wasn’t eating since he had no tray or plate. “Ain’t you gonna eat nothin’?” I asked. “Oh, I had a bagel with cream cheese and jelly earlier.   Spoiled my appetite.” ...

82 - PURE CORNBALL Mr. Harry turned and caught the mime making fun of him. “Beat it,” he tried whacking at the dude who proceeded to dance away into the shadows. Just then I noticed strings of lights lighting up the grounds of the Cirque De Bizarro, and circus music was piped into the air all around.   “Now what?” I asked Mr. Harry. “Well, Scaly my friend, you don’t exactly have an act and, technically, you’re not a legitimate freak or at least not permanently freakish, so all you have to do is walk among the rubes and entertain them.   You know, scare the holy shit out of ‘em.   They’ll love it.” “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with being a Lizard Man.   I mean, what is my motivation?” “Are you kidding me?   Who cares?   Come on, I wanna give you another spritz of color, and maybe some glitter to make you sparkle better under the lights.” “Hey,” I protested, “I already itch an’ burn an’ feel pretty rotten in general.   Do you really think th...

83 - IT’S ALL AN ACT The Amazing Stumppo shouted over the stunned silence, “Maestro, music if you please!”   And circus music cranked up loud again.   Patti opened her eyes and seemed to come awake as Mr. Big Stuff hoisted the sister act over his shoulder and carried them away.   Before they disappeared behind a flap I heard Patti yell at the he-man, “Who do you think you are?”   (Or slurred words to that effect.) Stumppo desperately directed everyone’s attention toward another opening in the canvas wall and presented six performers who sprinted into the glare of the circus spotlight.   The promoter pointed, “The Fabulous Flying Filipinos!” Four men and two women glimmered in multicolored beaded costumes as they bowed and waved to the audience.   I noticed each of the Filipinos seemed to be missing something, like a leg or a hand, which I thought was peculiar. The puppy who’d been underfoot and shadowing me the whole time ran out into the midst of t...

84 - OUR FATHER’S LAND Tired as tater-water, I burrowed down into the loose hay and wriggled around a bit to let the dried grasses rub against places I couldn’t get at.   Hay makes a great insulation, so I warmed right up, and it didn’t take no time a’tall before I’d fallen into a comfortable deep, deep sleep…. This place was bright with strung lights and carnival music playing all around.   I stood proud with my green scales shining, making Cathy and Patti Kennedy smile up at me with both heads.   I put my hands on my hips and flexed my muscles like the resident strongman, and I smiled back at them.   I was feeling the power of my lizardness.   I reached out and caressed the two sisters in my arms and teased, “Which one of you two do I get to love first?” “Me, me, me,” Patti’s lips pouted. “Oh, please take me,” Cathy begged. I half-closed my eyes and parted my lips to plant a succulent smacker on Cathy when out of my mouth darted a long, pink, gooey p...

85 - I HAD TO MAKE MY MOVE “You, you there...you men!” a voice hollered.   “What are you doing?   You should be helping tear down the tents.   We move in less than three hours.   Chop-chop.” It was Stumppo.   I couldn’t see him because I was hid behind stacks of hay in the back of the truck, but I recognized his commanding tone. The leader hollered in return, “The only thing movin’ is gonna be this here truck, you freakin’ fuck-lover.   I mean, fuckin’ freak-lover.” “What did you say to me?”   Stumppo sounded real irate.   “I’m giving you ten seconds to get back to work, or you and your crew are terminated.” The tall thin dude pulled a big silver gun outta the back of his pants.   “And you can go to hell and take your tribe of abominations with you.”   He opened fire.   Pop!   Pop!   Pop!   Pop!   Bullets flew.   Then he shouted to the dark sky, “Sick simper trellis!” I couldn’t see how effective...

86 - THE SWEAT OF MY BROW Two of the guys grabbed me by the ankles and pulled.   Naturally I fell flat on my ass and damn near had a near-miss smashing my head against the deck of the truck.   These boys was scrawny but they was strong enough.   (Humiliating as the moment was, while they dragged me forward I was grateful my soiled, spangled loincloth held.) The tall guy who was their leader looked down at me.   “Sumbitch sure looks alien, and there ain’t nothin’ ‘bout him that proves he’s legal, so I’m declaring him an illegal alien and therefore eligible to take on any job we don’t much feel like, like shovelin’ manure to start.” I was hoping a hot shower would be in order before any strenuous exercise.   But I didn’t waste my breath.   I was resigned to my immediate fate of being covered in filthiness. After the two other guys got me off my back and on my feet, the leader shoved a shovel in my hands.   I threw it on the ground.   The you...

87 - TWILIGHT ZONE Work finished, I fell exhausted into my bed of hay at the back of the truck (after being careful to move the pile of manure to the other side of the trailer).   I laid there feeling drowsy with each bump and roll as we headed down the narrow strips of backroads along the rural south.   Next thing I knew, I heard air-brakes and the truck pulled to a full stop.   The back doors flung open and the late afternoon light revealed a cloud of dust and dung floatin’ in the air all around. I got up and started walking toward the opening as my captors came into view.   “Lordy.   I didn’t think you could get any uglier.”   I knew I wasn’t a pretty sight to behold, all coated in feces, but I ignored the leader’s insult and hopped outta the back end of the trailer.   I followed behind the leader and his boys as they moseyed on over a short distance to talk to yet another farmer. “Yeah, my brother called and said you cleaned out his hen house...

88 - EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY & NIGHT After ol’ Cleet’d handed the leader a Tuffy Bag stuffed with farm-fresh roasted chickens, our little caravan prepared to head off. There was way too much manure loaded in the trailer to be riding back there, what with an abundance of noxious vapors and other unspeakable toxic health hazards, so I was mercifully allowed in the back of the van.   I was thrown in, actually.   Up front the young guy drove while the old guy rode shotgun.   Literally.   He was fingerin’ a shotgun the whole time.   They concerned themselves mostly with staying behind their leader and being alert to steer clear of the law.   They didn’t spare no words for me. Left to myself, I couldn’t help thinking how less than supreme these supremacists was.   Aside from all the unnecessary carnage at the Cirque De Bizarro, they’d stolen a van with DE painted on its sides and a truck with BIZARRO plastered down its sides, and as I figure it, ...