The Feet of God

1 - ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE My conscious awareness returned, little by little revealing a world to me like velvet curtains parting at The Fancy Pants Arcade back in Bakersfield.   Only I wasn’t about to be entertained by exotic dancers or lap dancing chorines.   No, things was a lot worse.   I awoke to find myself bruised and battered along an unfamiliar shore.   Waves lapped against my nether regions still caught up by the ocean’s edge.   I wiped off the wet sand caking my eyes and squinted into the bright white light of the morning sun.   Listening to the surf’s soothing roar, I knew I was fuck ’ n lucky to be alive. Above my waist saltwater and sweat trickled off, while below the belt seaweed clung to me like something unholy and intent on dragging me back into the deep.   With great effort and a loud grunt I finally managed to roll to my side and prop myself up.   Spitting sand from my lips, blowing sand out my nose and shaking sand from my ...

2 - MY LONG, STRANGE TRIP It’s illegal in California to hitchhike directly on the interstate.   You gotta stand near entrance ramps and entice passing motorists in about 1.3 seconds with your charms.   I prefer a flashy flick of the thumb and, as with the true professionals, a witty handheld sign that I’ve personally printed on a piece of cardboard. I tellya, guys over the age of 30 with two days’ worth of stubble, bloodshot eyes and a hangdog look don’t tend to fare so well.   So, just between Kimberlina Road and Famoso Highway, I settled in for the duration until I could find my next ride. To kill time I read the hitchhiker message board on the backside of the freeway entrance sign: Bob from Ohio was here 7/15/23 Bob from Ohio still here 7/17/23 What the hell’s wrong with you people?   Bob from Ohio 7/19/23 Bob from Ohio running out of water 7/21/23 Food and water gone!   Hit on head by empty bottle thrown from car.   Tell Mother I l...

3 - TRUCKIN ' Me and the speeding trucker headed up 99 over 46 and onto 5 before the sun went down.   Good-bye Pumpkin Center, hello Kettleman City. “How long ya been driving?” I asked the wild-eyed driver. Through clenched teeth and a grinding jaw he replied, “Eight years.   My daddy turned me on to truckin’.   He used to take me on runs when I was just a little brat.   I got hooked, hell yeah.   Truckin’s in the family blood.   My granddaddy still drives.   Hell, my great-granddaddy used to tag-team coast-to-coast with my great-grandma back in the early 50’s.   This is all I ever wanted to do.   The first toy truck I got for Christmas sits on a shelf at home.   Every now and then I take her down and run her back and forth across the floor just like when I was pint-size.   Yup, truckin’s the life for me.   Been on the road here 33 days out this time.   Two weeks since I last seen my wife.” I’m not sure how Red reck...

4 - PERCHANCE TO DREAM So there I was, dumped in the midst of nowhere in the middle of the night, standing all by myself, rubbing my hands together and breathing in the cold damp air, and I had me one of them strange premonitions I’d just escaped a trucker’s version of doing the honor farm fandango. Standing alone in the darkness by I-5 off-ramp number 5150 erected in MCMLVI, I was soon overcome by exhaustion if not diesel fumes.   I yawned and stretched and heard my tired bones crack and creak.   A steady stream of trucks and cars whizzed by along the freeway above me.   No doubt a lot of important folks was rushing to important places for important reasons.   But down here in the darkness, no one was going nowhere fast. I looked around and spotted a big piece of cardboard laid out near a ditch.   It appeared to be a discarded box about the size of a refrigerator.   I stood there for about a half hour or so, contemplating if I’d be willing to give ol...

5 - DREAM A LITTLE DREAM I drifted to the shadows where dreams are conjured.   I found myself in a strangely familiar country bar & café, all dank and dark, with faint odors of stale beer, smoke and Lysol. To one side of a big empty room of knotty pine and nicotine stains a deer head was mounted on the wall, next to assorted dead trophy fish and framed pictures of snowy mountains and icy lakes.   Dozens of tables was set with paper placemats and red glass candle holders wrapped in white plastic netting and white glass vases filled with red plastic geraniums. I turned and now the long bar was lined with huge men standing with their elbows bent, legs comfortably stretched out, and boots on the brass rail, all laughing and drinking.   I wanted a beer so bad I was drooling.   I jumped and jumped to get the bartender’s attention, but for some reason I was too small. The distinct aroma of home-styled cooking wafted by, so I turned my attention back to the dining ...

6 - SO SHALL WE REAP My grip on my make-do bedding must’a loosened, as a stiff morning breeze lifted my cardboard duvet and blew it aside like so much trash.   I figured it was time to get up anyhow, and I massaged my eyes and lifted myself from the box springs of crushed succulents.   First things first, I went and found a nearby bush while Nature called. After relieving myself I still had that strange dream in my head, what little I could recollect or make sense of.   Dreams are crazy that way.   Did Billy Peevy tell me there was some answer waiting for me in Florida?   What was the question?   I don’t remember him actually saying such a thing, or even saying a word at all. The first light of day revealed the barren and bereft landscape surrounding me:  concrete, smashed ice plants and a dying oleander.  Up on the interstate the caravan of cars and trucks continued to rush by.  And I was still alone down here.  Or so I thought. ...

7 - SWEET MENACE It is a great thing to appreciate art, but it is a greater privilege to watch the artist at work. Personally, I used to think of myself as a pretty sharp operator, the kind of dude who knows a good scam when I see one and how to work it to my advantage, but the next couple’a days on the road with Bob was an education and a revelation. In Armona she traded six free turkeys for ten gallons of gas and a set of Goodyear retreads.   In Ivanhoe she traded the tires for a case of beer and an extra six-pack so’s we could enjoy a few brews while keeping an eye out for Smokeys and speed traps.   Then, between Mendota and Tres Pinos she went right back out and got us six more free turkeys, 25-lbs. of flour, rice and beans, and a set of sparkplugs she palmed at the Prunedale Texaco. I learned things like how many food banks there was in an average county, the locations where warehouses of government cheese was stored, and Bob gave me particularly detailed instructio...

8 - THE SEEKER Bob and me sprinted back to the pickup.   “Pop me a beer,” Bob wiped her brow and kept checking the rear view mirror to make sure we wasn’t being followed.   I followed orders and popped a can for each of us. “Why didn’t we stay and get the money?   I mean, the ol’ bitch just wanted to shine a light in our eyes before giving us some dough.” Bob tried to be patient, “You’re a newbie Seeker.   You don’t know all the ways of The Path.   I’ll just say for now that something’s terribly wrong.   We have to get back to Gorda Fortuna fast.” “What’s Gorda Fortuna?” “That’s our base.”   Bob finished her beer and threw it out the window.   “Pop me another one.” “What kinda base?” “It’s a refuge, a sanctuary, a universal center for all Seekers, Finders and Reapers.   But most important, it’s the home of the Grande Bodhisattva Herself, the Avatar of Avatars, the Shemama of Shamans, Karmi Sri Boomrambis.”   Bob seemed practi...

9 - AND THEN THERE'S MA There was no escaping it.   Bob continued her saga, “In the company of Krishna Merman the universe unfolded before me in ways I’d never imagined before.”   I think she choked back tears from her memories.   “And wherever he is now, on whatever road he wanders, I will faithfully follow The Path of the Loud Enlightened One.” “I take it he dumped you?” This got me a full-on evil eye.   “The Master took me to Gorda Fortuna and entrusted me to the care of Ma, just as he'd brought home so many other young Seekers collected from freeway median strips and interstate off-ramps.” “So how does Ma fit in all this?” “Ma is a Seventh-Tier Shemama whose public outreach is in publishing the teachings of Krishna Merman.   All Seekers, Finders and Reapers use these texts as a guide to retrace The Path of the Loud Enlightened One.”   Bob’s mood turned dark.   “Until now.   We gotta get back to seek the wisdom of Ma.” “About what?” ...

10 - BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE I caught myself thinking how life can be so confusing.   We find ourselves living in this world, experiencing everything the senses have to offer, and then suddenly, it’s all over.   Other people are in the same boat, which makes me wonder.   I mean, if my life is uniquely my own, who the hell are all these other people sharing the experience?   And while they’re at it, why do they have to ask a lot of nosey questions or stir up trouble or want something I ain’t ready to give ‘em?   My mind began to reel, but I snapped out of it before I dropped off asleep. I was standing in the doorway of a large room where an overhead bug light cast everything in a yellow glow.   Just for a second my gut tightened.   I wasn’t sick or scared, but this was new and big and I wasn’t sure of myself.   I looked around at a bunch of Seeker kids lounging in an old-fashioned parlor with a huge overstuffed chair set in the middle of everyth...

11 - THERE WAS NONE LIKE MOSES “O lambs,” Ma addressed her ragtag listeners, “always be mindful of the serpents living amongst us.” “I hate snakes,” an anonymous Seeker loudly grumbled from the back. “Yeah, me too,” another Seeker shouted. “I didn’t literally mean actual serpents,” Ma’s patience seemed to grow testy.   “I meant there are snakes who would betray us.   Rats who would stab us in the back.   Wolves who are disguised in sheep’s clothing, that sort of thing.   There are those who want to poison the well from which our communion freely drinks.”   She sounded so wise and prophetic.   “As the Loud Enlightened One taught us, this shit’s been going on forever.” The gathered Seekers swayed and rocked to-and-fro.   Honest.   Every person in the room closed their eyes and squeezed themselves together and let out a collective wail.   Bob, Rufus, and about two dozen other youthful congregants joined Ma in a Krishna Merman moment. ...

  12 - JUST LIKE OLD TIMES Around here I might be regarded as a lowly newbie Seeker (well, sort of; I hadn’t exactly signed any contracts or recruitment papers just yet), but even I could see this show was over.   While some attendant Seekers saw to the old woman’s various needs, I headed straight for the porch door. Outside the night had turned chilly with a drizzle.   I flipped up my collar and lit my last Kool.   All the bonfires was dampened now and there was no heat or light to be felt or seen.   This made me stop and think.   Here I was again, alone and in the dark, in a strange and unfamiliar place, and I couldn’t believe how far removed I was from the life I once led in my trailer court home back in Bakersfield.   I yawned and felt very sleepy. The light sprinkle changed to a soft rain with bigger drops ploppin’ from the eaves above where I was standing.   While Bob remained inside and tended to Ma with the others, there wasn’t a See...