The Feet of God

14 - SECRET AGENT MAN

I decided it was probably best to take my leave of Bob and her communal friends and quietly scoot outta there.  I tried to look invisible among the breakfasting Seekers in hopes I could sneak out of their compound undetected.  I didn’t want Bob undermining my escape with a lot of nosy questions or long good-byes, but unfortunately for me, being the only person in the place who didn’t have that moronic inner glow, I was spotted right off.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you,” Bob ran up and slapped me on the shoulder.  “Where’d you disappear to last night?”  She winked at me like I’d been catting around, and I noticed Rufus grinning back at Bob.

“Oh, I just sorta drifted off alone.  I’m used to it.  How about you?”

“When you’re surrounded by loved ones you can never be alone,” Bob stroked Rufus.  “A true Seeker can always feel the love at Ma’s.”

“I see you found the food barn,” Rufus spoke through a curdled smile.

“Yeah, I thought I’d reap me a little nutritious grub before moving on my way.  I suppose you got my bill prepared for checkout, including gratuity, but no taxes, right?”

“Not exactly,” he laid his hand on my shoulder.  “Ma’s made an inspired decision and asked us to reconnoiter the Remington encampment.  Since everyone in the area knows us, Ma decided you’d be the perfect unknown to snoop around.”

“She did?”  I couldn’t believe they thought I’d enlisted in their organization, or would volunteer for any such thing.  But I had a sense my options was limited, what with Bob’s hand on one of my shoulders and Rufus’ pincher-like grip on the other.

“Please help us,” Bob pleaded.  “Ma says Moses and his militia pose a direct threat to us and our way of life, and she wants us to find out exactly what they’re up to here in Gorda Fortuna.”

With a twist and a shrug I got Rufus to unhand me.  I turned to Bob, “I guess maybe I owe you some for the ride and all, plus the free beers.”  (Considering the slop they was serving up for breakfast, I couldn’t bring myself to give her fair credit for that.)  But what the hell, I thought, I was in no special hurry to get to who knows where, and maybe this’d be a fun side adventure.  And I’ve always wanted to meet a big movie star like Moses Remington.  I saw Moses in Esau Was a Hairy Ape three times at the Cineplex 5 in downtown Bakersfield, and saw him countless times doing all them television commercials for Roman Empire Savings & Loan before it was shut down by the government.

“Okay, count me in.”

“Great,” Bob tugged at my arm, “let’s get moving.”  As I followed Bob toward the door I realized that yet again I was following a woman based on enthusiasm and misplaced gratitude.  What the hell was I thinking…?

“Ma said we could take the Caddie,” Rufus had a mile-wide smile on his face as he pulled out a set of keys and jangled them high in the air.  “And it’s got a full tank of gas to boot.”

Bob’s jaw dropped.  “Whoa, you mean it?”  She punched Rufus in the arm.  “I got dibs to drive on the way back.”

“We’ll wrestle for it,” Rufus teased.  “C’mon, let’s hit it.”

We walked over to a shed and Rufus worked on the several large padlocks and locked chains to open doors and reveal the back end of a vintage ’59 pink Cadillac DeVille with lethal pointed tailfins and bullet-shaped red taillights.  On the rusted chrome bumper a tattered “Keep on Plucking” bumper sticker was next to a mysterious and more faded one for Mary Kay cosmetics.

I climbed into the backseat leaving Rufus and Bob to share the front.  Rufus took the wheel and started the car’s ignition and it thundered to life.  Pistons pinged and knocked, and thick blue smoke seeped into the back.  I quickly rolled down windows in hopes the wind would flush out the gasoline fumes once we got moving.

And so, Bob, Rufus and me was headed out of the Seekers’ home base on a mission to discover…well, I’m not exactly sure what.

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